Why rejection hurts so much - and what to do about it by Guy Winch
Try Feedforward Instead of Feedback by Marshall Goldsmith
The Difference Between Praise That Promotes Narcissism vs. Healthy Self-Esteem by Poncie Rutsch
These articles provide excellent advice for giving and receiving feedback. All too often I focus on the negatives when I think about my performance or ability. It has been said that 'you are your own worst critic,' and I find that to be true for myself and most people I know. It is easy to get focused on the problems and look for solutions, but it is important to recognize the positives and focus on the strengths. Ask questions about why something is a positive or why someone recognizes something as a strength. That will help build positive self-esteem. Sabina Nawaz recommends people to think 5 positive thoughts for every negative thought. It is really difficult not to take feedback personally, even if there is no ill intent and both parties understand that feedback is supposed to be a positive experience. Most people even add insult to injury by self-criticizing and focusing on their negative traits or qualities. It is important to be kind to yourself. The best way is to do this is to focus on your strengths and write about why your positive qualities are important. I really loved the ideas behind the feedforward article. Feedback is more beneficial and enjoyable when focusing on what can be done in the future, instead of focusing on what was done poorly in the past. I would even think about feedforward as making a mental list of goals and objectives to strive for. It is very important how compliments are given to kids. I think Poncie Rutsch's article makes a solid argument for rewarding hard work as opposed to labeling a child as smart. Phrasing plays a large part in how people receive feedback on an emotional level.
Image by Federico Cosentino, from flickr.
Give positive feedback and focus on one another's strengths.
No comments:
Post a Comment