Feedback Thoughts

Silence the Critical Voices in Your Head by Sabina Nawaz

Why rejection hurts so much - and what to do about it by Guy Winch

Try Feedforward Instead of Feedback by Marshall Goldsmith

The Difference Between Praise That Promotes Narcissism vs. Healthy Self-Esteem by Poncie Rutsch

These articles provide excellent advice for giving and receiving feedback. All too often I focus on the negatives when I think about my performance or ability. It has been said that 'you are your own worst critic,' and I find that to be true for myself and most people I know. It is easy to get focused on the problems and look for solutions, but it is important to recognize the positives and focus on the strengths. Ask questions about why something is a positive or why someone recognizes something as a strength. That will help build positive self-esteem. Sabina Nawaz recommends people to think 5 positive thoughts for every negative thought. It is really difficult not to take feedback personally, even if there is no ill intent and both parties understand that feedback is supposed to be a positive experience. Most people even add insult to injury by self-criticizing and focusing on their negative traits or qualities. It is important to be kind to yourself. The best way is to do this is to focus on your strengths and write about why your positive qualities are important. I really loved the ideas behind the feedforward article. Feedback is more beneficial and enjoyable when focusing on what can be done in the future, instead of focusing on what was done poorly in the past. I would even think about feedforward as making a mental list of goals and objectives to strive for. It is very important how compliments are given to kids. I think Poncie Rutsch's article makes a solid argument for rewarding hard work as opposed to labeling a child as smart. Phrasing plays a large part in how people receive feedback on an emotional level.


Image by Federico Cosentino, from flickr.
Give positive feedback and focus on one another's strengths.

Story Planning Week 1: Gangster's Paradise

I have decided to write my stories in a script format, sort of copying Christine Elliott. I am going to write overly dramatic stories (think soap operas). I will set the stories in present day time, and I will update details, including names, occupations and setting. I want to write the plot points in a dramatic way, and I want the characters to be over-the-top exaggerations of the originals.
I really like the scene in which Achilles puts Agamemnon in his place, but doesn't kill him because he is restrained by Athena. I can see this playing out in a very dramatic fashion. They could trade insults and throw fits, and I see Athena as a divine intervention Achilles experiences, in the form of a ghost or flashback. They could be Italian-American mobsters caught up in a big turf war. Agamemnon is the Don of one city, and Priam the Don of another. They break bread, along with Menalaus, to form an alliance, but Helen and Paris get it on in the bathroom, and she decides to run away with him. By the time Menalaus realizes his wife's disappearance, she is tucked away in a safehouse with Paris and company. Menalaus tells Don Agamemnon what happened, and Agamemnon assembles a meeting with the lesser dons in his city. Along with the dons, Agamemnon extends an invitation to Achilles, the leader of a dangerous crew of hitmen. That meeting will take place in a traditional, makeshift meeting room in the back of a restaurant. Everyone has bodyguards except for Achilles, and everyone is packing heat. Achilles brings along Patroclus, his top gun and best friend. Maybe, instead of Achilles' armor being given to Patroclus and taken by Hector, it could be Achilles' favorite gun. Patroclus dies in a shootout. Maybe Achilles and Hector get into a car chase, and Hector finally pulls over so they can face each other. I feel like I have a good idea how to write this for next week.


Lepke Buchalter handcuffed to J. Edgar Hoover, photo by Al Aumuller, 1939 or 1940, found on Wikimedia.

Bibliography: Information based on Homer's Iliad, as told by Alfred J Church, found here.

Reading Notes: Homer's Iliad Part B

The gods play a huge role in this story. They are the primary directors of action. They decide how the mortals behave, who lives and who dies. The human characters are helpless to determine their own fates. Perhaps this is representative of the human condition. Various plot points prod at the reader's emotions. The idea of parents burying their children is a tragedy no one wants to experience, but we mourn Hector's death with the grieving Priam. We understand the strength of the bond between Achilles and Patroclus as Achilles weeps for his fallen friend. We feel visceral human emotions as the writer describes in great detail the lovely interaction between Hector, Andromache and their child before Hector goes into battle. These vulnerable human moments captivate the reader's attention and establish an emotional connection. The individual characters display a wide range of emotions, making them more relatable and realistic.
As for the storyline, I noted some important moments and interesting plot points. Hector angered Zeus by dawning Achilles' armor after slaying Patroclus. We feel the weight of Patroclus' death as the horses weep and mourn him. Achilles throws a dramatic fit when he hears of the death of his friend. He wishes death upon himself because he unknowingly sent Patroclus to his death. Achilles carries the favor of the gods nearly every step of his journey, especially in the moments leading to Hector's death. Achilles and Priam share a moment of solidarity when Priam begs for his son's lifeless body. Death is inevitable. The greed of a few causes the despair of many.
I really enjoyed the Iliad, and I feel like I have gotten some good ideas for connecting with the reader.


Achilles Slays Hector by Peter Paul Rubens, found on Wikimedia.

Bibliography: Homer's Iliad as told by Alfred J Church, found here.

Reading Notes: Homer's Iliad Part A

The first thing I noticed when reading this story was how many different people and places were mentioned. The names and places came so fast and furious that I doubt I can remember them all. Note to self: try not to confuse the reader with so many names and places. Typically I think of Achilles as a warrior unafraid of any fight. This story presents a moment that he tries to convince the chiefs to return home because so many men are dying. This shows depth to Achilles character, and it reveals that he knows when to run and fight another day. I notice that the writer uses dialogue to reveal character traits, such as when Achilles describes how Agamemnon sits in his tent and takes the lion's share of the spoils. Through dialogue we discover Agamemnon's greed and Achilles' reason. I was surprised to read that Achilles wept aloud on the beach. His character is much more complex than I imagined. He shows rage, restrain, logic and sadness. This establishes a very relatable main character. Foreshadowing is a strong tool. Achilles' mother, Thetis, foreshadows Achilles' fate when she says his life is fated to be short and sad. I cannot help but notice the ongoing drama between Zeus and Hera plays a part in this story, just as it does in many Greek myths. The writer uses dialogue between the gods to move the plot along. I really like how the whole story weaves together different plots and scenes between different characters. The build-up to Hector leaving for battle is very descriptive and emotional. I find it very tragic that Achilles granted Patroclus permission to go into battle, and he had no idea it would lead to his death.

Bibliography: Homer's Iliad: Part A, as told by Arthur J Church, found here. 
Achilles Lamenting the Death of Patroclus, by Gavin Hamilton, found on Wikimedia.